From “Award Winning Listeners” to “Uhh Hey JJ:” Your complete guide to the references, segments, and inside jokes from Pardon My Take

Pardon My Take is the #1 sports podcast on iTunes. As a biting satire of today’s over-the-top hot take sports culture, the show has experienced tremendous growth since it’s launch.

Started in March 2016, the podcast features Dan “Big Cat” Katz and PFTCommenter talking about the sport news of the day. Every episode also includes an interview. The show’s producer Hank Lockwood can also frequently be heard interjecting in the conversation. The guys broadcast three shows a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The show tends to follow the same format — opening discussion of recent sports events, the interview, and then a series of segments.

Since the show features many segments and inside-jokes appearing on a semi-frequent basis I thought it best to present as many of them in a structured, semi-alphabetical order. Enjoy.

Alex Jones – A frequent subject of parody by PFT who does a pretty good impression of the conspiracy theory loving radio broadcaster.

Electric hot seat on today's episode

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Are They Dead Yet? – Segment in which the guys try to decide if someone is dead before Hank looks up the truth on Wikipedia.

As a White Guy  – Segment in which the guys speak up for the persecuted white male. The segment below is from MLK day.

Award Winning Listeners – During the show’s first Takie Awards in July 2016 (held on the boring sports day after MLB’s All-Star Game), the guys awarded all of the podcast’s listeners the award for Best Podcast Audience.

Bachelor Talk For Guys Who Won’t Watch The Bachelor – Segment. This one describes itself. The guys talk about the bachelor and base their conversation on having not watched the show. Here’s a segment from early January 2017.

Bad Radio -Segment in which the guys do something you shouldn’t do in radio like have an extended silence or react to a video clip. Here is an example of them impersonating Jim Caldwell.

Billy Football – The podcast’s intern during the summer of 2017. He was a fountain of content for them. Billy helped host “Higher Learning,” traveled frequently with the guys, helped them with a ketosis data, accidentally tweeted PFT’s phone number and genitals, and knew way too much about Fire Salamanders. Here is one of his intern vocumentaries.

Blake Bortles Wikipedia Reading Club – Created when the guys were not allowed into the Andrew Luck Reading Club during the summer of 2016. The Wikipedia Club meets once a month and rarely does anyone in the club complete the reading before their on-air meeting.

Bro Sweet! – Bro sweet! The guys “trick shot” group and rally cry. A parody of everything Dude Perfect. Here is their world premiere video and their follow-up video filmed in Detriot.

Canada – Gordo and Todd are PFT and Big Cat’s Canadian personalities. See below.

Car Stick – Hank’s idea of an invention that will help people retrieve items lost in the front seat of a car. Big Cat and PFT thought it was the dumbest idea ever. Below is an animation set to the audio of this conversation.

Color Rush – There may be no bigger fans of the NFL’s Thursday Night color rush uniforms than Big Cat and PFT. They even made a music video about their love of it.

ICYMI: COLOR RUSH SZN IS BACK

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Congrats on the Sex – What the guys say when they hear someone had a child recently.

Death  – Probably the biggest get for the podcast in terms of guests. They have talked to it twice by visiting a New York City psychic. Here are two clips from their first visit in June of 2016. This is also where they were able to prevent Tommy Lasorda from dying.

Dr. James Andrews – One of the earliest interviews on the podcast was Dr. James Andrews. Not the sport doctor you’ve heard of, but Dr. James Andrew, PhD in Information Services, South Florida University. The guys asked him nothing but sports questions and he predicted that Kyle Schwarber would be back for the World Series. Listen below.

Do You Wash Your Apples? –  A debate held on the Mike & Mike radio show that captivated the guys. The question became a staple in their interviews for the remainder of 2016.

Done or Finished – Segment. A spiritual sequel to hurt or injured (see below) in which the guys discuss the difference between the two terms as they apply to a team or athlete in the sports world.

Exit Interview – These started after the podcast moved to New York City. When a guest visits the studio for an interview the guys take them into a bathroom and do an exit interview reflecting on their experience on the podcast. It’s always a stomach-churning experience. Here is Katie Nolan’s exit interview.

Explain it to Hank –  Producer Hank is a millennial. Sometimes the guys have to explain pre-internet or 1990s trends to him.

Fall Guy – Big Cat thought of this mid-show in an early pod from March 2016. Named in honor of Cris Carter’s famous speech. The guys pick out who the fall guy is in an obvious situation or come up with their own fall guys for situations.

Fastest Two Minutes NFL recap – This was the opening of every Monday show during the NFL season. Big Cat and PFT parody Chris Berman’s old NFL Primetime approach. Animation below.

Football Guy of the Week – Usually held at the top of Monday shows during football season, with occassionaly emergency football guys during the off-season. The guys announced four finals for football guy of the week and the put out a Twitter pool to decide the winner.

Fun Facts – Segment. This segment only comes about when the guys have fun facts. Has not been used since May, 2016.

Grit Tour 2016 – A seven-day, five city tour the guys undertook on the Barstool bus in May 2016. Visits included Buffalo (where listeners were invited to jump through a table at their RV stop), Cincinnati (home of the world’s worst chili), Cleveland (where the guys took in an NBA finals game at which PFT lost his wallet), Pittsburgh (where the guys had front-row seats to a Pirates game and wore shirts that spelled out GRIT), and Indianapolis (where the guys tailgated and watched the 100th running of the Indy 500).

Guys On Chicks – Segment started in the spring of 2017. PFT and Big Cat answer questions from female listeners and exlain women to women and men. The show set up a phone number where female fans could text their questions.

Guys Talking Guys – Segment. There’s football guys, there’s baseball guys, there’s newspaper guys and this is just some guys talking guys.

Hank’s reading – Hank often struggles with reading and is mocked for it.

Higher Learning – Segment. When Billy Football joined the podcast team as an intern the guys created a segment in which they gave advice to college students. Here is a higher learning segment from June 2017 that also launched another frequent inside joke: The Trip Chamber.

Hot in the Street with Hank- Segment. Have you been wondering what all the kids are talking about lately? Producer Hank has you covered as he fills us in on what’s hot in the streets.

Hot Seat/Cool Throne – Wednesday segment at the top of the show. The guys discuss what people, objects, or ideas are on the hot seat or cool throne.

Hmmmm – The guys discuss things in the sports world that make them make the face of the thinking emoji 🤔. The clip below is a Hmmm segment from after the Steelers were awoken by a fire alarm at 3 am on the day of the AFC Championship Game.

Humans vs. the Sun – Segment that covers the often reported on topic of how the sun is affecting various athletes or sporting events.

Hurt or Injured – Segment the mocks an actual ESPN segment that tries to split the semantic difference between the two terms. The guys discuss whether a recent “injury” to a player or person has them hurt or injured. Here’s a hurt or injured for Alan Branch’s complicated suspension.

Is Pat Riley Going to Die Soon? – Segment that focuses on whether Pat Riley may soon die. The segment launched after his text about Dwayne Wade in the summer of 2016.

Jimbos – Segment that comes at the end of every Friday show. Award-winning listeners submit their biggest regrets and errors from the week to Hank, who reads them to Big Cat and PFT. The segment has resulted in the only suspension of a listener as a result of their Jimbo and almost always involves alcohol. Big Cat, PFT, and Hank wrap up the segment with their own Jimbo’s of the week. Named in honor of former 49ers coach Jim Tomsula who called his many mistakes “Jimbos.” 

Just Chill Out Man – Segement. Used to tell an athlete or person to take it easy. Curt Schilling is a common topic.

Kings Stay Kings – Segment in which the guys explain why powerful people don’t change (think Jeff Fischer). Here is a Kings Stay Kings on Fischer from December.

Larry II – The podcast’s goldfish who picked NFL games during the 2016 season. Larry had an entry in the Las Vegas Super Contest. Listeners were able to buy shares in Larry by purchasing a Barstool shirt during the first month of the season. Larry finished 49-34-2 for the season and 52nd in the Super Contest. The first Larry died after one week when either PFT, Big Cat, or Hank murdered him (this is a common topic of debate). Larry II was adopted soon after. He died in March 2017 and is currently frozen and awaiting burial at the Football Hall of Fame. Here is his Twitter account.

LeBron Blames – Segment, usually started by Big Cat, in which he explains who LeBron is blaming for the Cavs not playing well.

Locker Room Talk  – Segment started after Donald Trump said his Access Hollywood comments were just “Locker Room Talk.” The guys always end the segment by calling former MLB star Lenny Dykstra and using locker room talk on him before he hangs up. The below clip is from the day after the 2017 College Football Championship Game (warning strong language ahead, it’s a Locker Room and Lenny Dykstra is troubled).

Man Card – Sometimes you end up doing things as a guy that aren’t so guy-ish. Better watch out, because Joe Buck might come knocking for your man card.

Marlin’s Man Was On National Television So We Called Him – Segment. Marlin’s Man is known for sitting front row at almost all of the big sporting events with his bright orange Marlins jersey in addition to being the most humble human being on Earth. So Big Cat and PFT decide to call him.

Marlin’s Woman – When the guys attended a playoff game at Wrigley Field, they were invited to sit behind the plate with friend of the show Marlins Man. PFT wore an orange shirt and his long hair made it appear that he was a female accompanying Marlins Man. #Marlinswoman soon trended on Twitter. PFT wrote a column on the incident.

Max B – The name of Mike Portney’s grandson who often gets a shoutout when Mike (the show’s lawyer) is on.

Milk Boys – The guys decided to adopt the persona of two guys who chug milk and then do athletic feats. This has lead to a lot of vomiting.

Michael Wilbon’s Name Drop of the Week Presented by Michael Wilbon, He Golfed With Obama Once, NBD – You’ve never heard a Michael Wilbon segment without him name dropping someone famous that he’s hung out with. Premiered on March 14, 2016.

Mike Greenberg’s Dumb Rules – Segment. Named in honor of the ESPN radio host who frequently spouts silly ideas on how to improve sports. The guys come up with their own outlandish ideas on how to improve sports. Here is one on the Daytona 500.

Mike & Mike – Segment (sometimes called Fair Play) in which the guys impersonate ESPN hosts Mike Greenberg (PFT) and Mike Golic (Big Cat). Big Cat is usually heard eating during this segment. Here is an example when they debated punching Nazi’s as Mike & Mike. When Mike Golic was a guest they did a special Mike & Mike.

Mt. Rushmore – What the guys did during the summer (or “Sports Hell” according to Big Cat) to fill airtime and #embracedebate. Mt. Rushmore Season was later set by the guys as running from the end of the NBA Finals until Labor Day. The daily series is a parody of ESPN’s Mount Rushmore series launched in the summer of 2009 and used in various forms by the network since. Replaced by Power Rankings after Labor Day (see below).

Not Afraid To Go There – Segment. Not a sorry, not sorry. This is for the people that are the only ones who have the balls to say this.

Not To Brag But… We Called It – The guys can be called the Nostradamus’ of sports but they want you to know they’re not here to brag about it.

Nyquist – The guys were really amused when Nyquist the horse and winner of the 2016 Kentucky Derby got a twitter account. Both PFT and Big Cat were blocked by Nyquist after requesting an interview with him.

Olympic Update – Segment that ran during the summer of 2016 in the lead-up to the Rio Olympics. It always involved some dire news about the Olympics or Rio. The guys eventually concluded that all the bad news leading up the Olympics was actually PR created by the Olympics to let people know they were occurring that summer.

Question I’m Going to Ask That You Don’t Have to Answer, but I’m Going to Ask Anyway – The last question for all guests during the interviews conducted in 2016. Is never as bad you think it might be.

O-VER-RATED! – Segment. PFT chants the cliche “O-VER-RATED!” before giving you something they think is overrated.

Parental Advisory – Segment. Our parents grew up in a different era of sports and sometimes they come in with some hot hot hot sports takes. Segment premiered on March 23, 2016.

People Forget That – Ironically saying things that people never really forget. Example: “Did you hear Antonio Gates played basketball in college?”

Peter King ate the Trash Again – Segment named in honor of the MMQB writer who, like a dog who gets into the trash now and again, sometimes says and tweets things that are a little off color.

Perspective – Deshaun Watson bought his mother a really expensive car after the draft. That money could have been used to buy a bunch of firefighters or something this world really needs. Perspective.

PR 101 – Segment. Sometimes called Manziel 101. The guys give advice to a person in the sports world that is in the midst of a public relations problem. Here is an animated PR 101 for former Atlanta Falcon RB Jamal Anderson

Power Rankings – What do you do when Mt. Rushmore season comes to a tragic end? Power rank things.

Put One In His Ear Hole – Segment. When a guy is on a hot streak or getting a little too big for his britches, the guys suggest you have to put one in his earhole to bring him back to Earth.

Respect the Biz – Segment where the guys point out journalists who get upset with the way the media is treated or the way sports or an athlete is covered. Created in honor of Jay Mariotti.

Respect the Shield – Segment. Usually led by PFT, this is the guy’s attempt to highlight the intelligent and well-planned ways in which the NFL guarantees that everyone protects the shield.

Rockin Refuel – A product that A.J. Green hyped during his snore-inducing interview.

Sabermetrics – Segment. The guys have admitted they are not analytics guys, they are strictly sabermetric guys. The segment usually involves some silly number in the sports world.

Stay Classy – It’s the most devastating own you can give someone. Someone does something that’s not classy? Hit them with a “stay classy.” Segment debuted June 3, 2016.

Stingray Steve – A diehard Mississippi St fan who the guys brought on the podcast once a week during college football season to talk about the upcoming slate of games. Stingray would also do a play-by-play of the most dramatic moment from the past CFB weekend.

Sorry, not Sorry – Segment. The guys talk about a non-apology given by someone in the sports world.

Spinzone – Segment. The guys try to spin bad news into something positive. Here is PFT spinzoning a 100 point basketball loss.

Spoilers – Segment.  The guys spoil a movie for the listeners. The segment usually has a theme, such as “sports films” or “Tom Hanks films.”

Stay Woke – Segment. Basically, the connect the dots segment with a more topical and cooler to say name. Here’s a stay woke from November about NFL kickers missing kicks on purpose.

Stella – Big Cat’s dog that could often be heard barking in the background of podcasts before the podcast moved to Barstool’s studio in NYC. She still appears in the PMT logo next to Big Cat.

Talking Soccer – Segment in which the guys talk about the most un-American of sports. Sometimes the time used to say the name of the segment lasts longer than the soccer update.

Tiger Woods Memorial Who’s Back of the Week Award  – Part of every Monday show. Begun after Tiger Woods (who Scott Van Pelt called while being interviewed) told the podcast that he would be back in “the future.”

Thoughts and Prayers – Segment. The guys talk about an area in the sports world that needs support.

Train Thoughts/Ideas I Thought Were Good When I was Drunk – Big Cat, PFT, and Hank all take the train to get to work. They often have random thoughts about how to improve the world during the ride. In this segment, they share their ideas.

Uhhh Hey JJ – Segment. An attempt to put famous try-hard J.J. Watt in his place. The segment is usually prompted by a J.J. Watt tweet. Award-winning listeners have been known to flood Watt’s Twitter mentions with “Uhhhh Hey JJ” responses when Watt tweets. Here is the first use of this segment from June 2016.

Vaping – In an effort to fit in with the youth, the guys do a lot of vaping. This started as a joke but they were soon addicted to it.

You're a poser if you don't Ollie goofy footed #Vapeboys

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Vanny Woodhead – A conversion van the show bought for $900 in April 2017. The guys drove the van to Philadelphia for the NFL draft. The side of the van is filled with “sponsorships.” See below.

We’ll Cut That/We’ll Bleep That – Reoccurring joke from the guys about content or words that Hank will cut or bleep in post-production. Hank never does.

We’re connect the dot guys, not conspiracy guys. – Segment. The guys engage in rampant speculation that something in the sports world is not a coincidence but the work of a league office, team, and/or clever PR person.

Who’s the Most Famous Person in Your Cellphone? – The second to last question during interviews. They stopped asking this question in 2017. The question was always followed by “Can we call them?” A few guests did. Here is U.S. swimmer Conor Dwyer calling Michael Phelps. You could never hear the third person.

Witch Hunt – Segment. The guys launch into wild unfounded speculation about an athlete and their recent success. Almost always involves speculation of steroid use. Here’s an example with Dustin Johnson.

 

Did we miss any? Please comment below!

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