John Mayer tried to shoot his shot with Nicki Minaj

“Please hold. Losing my shit, this isn’t my reply yet.” Let’s. GO. John Mayer sent his shot and I’m hyped. My heart exploded when I saw this tweet on my timeline. I’m so here for Nicki Minaj and John Mayer getting it on.

America is divided right now and this would really bring everyone together. They couldn’t be more wrong for each other, but that’s why I love it. I’m not saying they should film it but they should absolutely film it and maybe even go live on Instagram. Honestly, John Mayer is probably a sex addict. He totally has commitment issues and can’t seem to not screw up every relationship he gets into. Let’s make it known that I’m still not over the fact that he broke up with Katy Perry. I mean, c’mon, she married Russell Brand. She walked down the aisle on an elephant and got a divorce 2 years later. Are you serious? You left John Mayer for someone who looks like a homeless man asking for money outside a New York City Subway. Bad move Katy Perry, really bad move.

Anyway, a sexual romp between the two of them would be like fireworks on the 4th of July. We need it recorded and documented in textbooks for the rest of time. Meek Mill and Drake will lose their shit. Anyone who thinks John Mayer is going to bang Nicki is dead wrong. Dead wrong. Nicki will be bangin’ John. John Mayer certainly has his sexual history. He rated all the women he’s been with. There’s an article about it on Z100 if you need more info. That’s true. He’s one of the true cocksmen in the entertainment world. He’s been with everybody. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Minka Kelly, Jessica Simpson, that bitch Taylor Swift. HE EVEN DATED JENNIFER ANNISTON, I SHIT YOU NOT.

Everybody knows that John Mayer gets around. He’s used the words “sexual napalm” to describe what happens in the bedroom. But if it really does go down between these two artists, it’ll be Nicki Minaj who’s fuckin’ with John Mayer. Let’s not get that confused. Fingers crossed it happens. I am so here for this. Here’s to hoping John eats her booty like groceries.

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